Archive for August, 2010

Arrived at the so-called most romantic city on earth. Pergghhh! I just don’t know why I hate this place. Nothing hardly seemed to impress me. Hardly anything is cheap, people are generally rude and snobs, dirty, child-unfriendly…and my apartment…just a house… actually hardly a house. Just an accommodation that is definitely NOT a place that can be called home. We didn’t choose to stay there. It was chosen for us. So many things in the house are either broken or not functioning. Landlord refuses to fix anything. Can’t even decorate it since we are “supposed” to move out. God knows when though… No wonder I dreaded coming back here ­čśŽ The minute I stepped my feet in the apartment and saw the messy kitchen and piles of unfolded clothes, my chest pain and breathlessness is back…


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Ranked 3rd as best country by Newsweek. Sob, sob… yes, me and the children do miss Sweden very much. So unlike other places esp. when u are with kids. The warmth of the people (considering the cold depressing winter…), the calmness of the city, the respect they show to other who are “different”… the list go on and on….

Flashback : I don’t understand why I was always misunderstood when I was a kid. Girls seemed to hang out with me just because I attract (unwanted) attention from guys. When I excelled in something, others seemed to think that I just don’t deserve it. I shouldn’t be happy… And me, I just kept my mouth shut instead of voicing them out – politely┬á… Maybe becoz I turned to my diaries more than human… BE OUTSPOKEN DEAR. VOICE YOURSELF OUT!!

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“I like to work. The self-esteem and satisfaction that i get from working makes me a better person, which makes me a better mum.” – Cindy Crawford.

This hold true for me too. So what am i to do when i’m “forced” to be a stay at home mom?

Wake up one day realizing I have no idea whatsoever as to what I want. REALLY want, for myself. Only me. Felt like I’ve spent┬ámy whole life pleasing others, living the life others said I should. Bummer…

Flashback : I discovered that at 14 I was so concerned about what others thought about me. My happiness depended so much on other people. I definitely got smitten too easily…

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